48 Hours To and From: The Wisconsin Dells
48 Hours To and From: The Wisconsin Dells
Actually, it was 36 hours, but who’s counting?
Destination: The Wisconsin Dells, The Waterpark Capital of the World!
Participants: AML and her unwitting and very sweet man, Thomas
Goal: To get the hell out of Dodge; watch mad soccer; go on waterslides.
In the Midwest, the car trip is crucial, as is the weekend getaway. You know how everyone from Minnesota has a cabin? Well, everyone else in the Midwest lives about 3 hours away from someplace that is less of a hot, urban wasteland than where they actually live. The summer in the Midwest can be particularly brutal for brooding, moody teens, rambunctious toddlers, and bored stay-at-home moms. The answer: a weekend getaway that is fun and affordable for the whole family. Sometimes this means owning a cabin, or having a timeshare on a cabin with your relatives or family friends. For others, this means the Dells.
A little history: The Dells started out as Kilbourn City, and were made famous by H.H. Bennett, a photographer and nature enthusiast who photographed the magnificent rock formations and scenery of the south-central Wisconsin in the 1860s and 70s. He is most well-known for his stop action photography, and his studio still operates in the Dells. The area grew as a tourism destination in the late 1800s. Though Native American tribes including the Winnebago, the Ho-Chunk, the Menominee and the Chippewa, played prominent roles in the history of the Dells early on, the white settlement and the growth of the logging industry in the area are what set the Dells on the map. Future president of the Confederacy Jefferson Davis explored in the area and in fact founded Fort Winnebago in nearby Portage, Wisconsin. In the 1940s, surplus Army Ducks, semi-amphibious transport vehicles used by the Army during WWII were brought to Lake Delton (the biggest lake in the area) for recreational use, and are still used today for tours and sightseeing along the river. In the 1950s, the Tommy Bartlett waterskiing show made the Dells a serious attraction, and his legacy lives on in the form of daily (and nightly) exhibitions of bizarre skill on the water-ski. And thus began the Dells’ marriage to water sports and recreation on the grandest of scales. (http://www.dells.com/dellshistory/)
Word to the wise: I love water slides, but I almost never go because it is so expensive. I went once as a teenager, with this woman I worked for, her younger half-sister and our boss’s daughter (both of whom were maybe 10). It was not something my family did when we were kids.
Getting there from Chicago is only about a 2.5 hour drive, and a relatively pretty one at that. We left early, armed with new flip flops, the top down (the lovely Thomas has a tiny convertible that I thought were only sold to gay men and people in midlife crises, but this is not the case—two of my Dad’s friends bought them during major life crises, both over 6’4”--in a Miata, this is truly priceless). We were intent on making it to the Dells in time to check into our room and watch the US-Italy soccer match , which we did. The roads were not congested, but be careful! Wisconsin has more state troopers than any other state I’ve driven through.
Our abode for the next day and a half was the Shamrock (http://www.shamrock-dells.com), truly a motel’s motel. Two stories in U shape, with a pool (complete with Irish-themed unicorn water slide) in the middle and a grassy green knoll on which sat not only picnic tables and a couple of motorcycles, but also several barbeques, apparently for public use. Cool! Each room had two plastic chairs outside the door as well. The rooms were comfortable and clean. But the most remarkable thing about the motel was the sense of community that was fostered by the huge families, all of whom were in the pool or sitting outside their rooms on their plastic chairs until late into the night. I also saw a pregnant woman in a bikini, a first for me.
Now, Thomas explained to me on our way to dinner that the Dells have a massive impermanent labor pool, that kids come from Poland and Eastern Europe to work in restaurants and in the parks over the summer. These kids were mostly college age waiters, but damn they were polite. But the late 80’s Iron Curtain feel was extended also to the tourists. We ate dinner the Saturday night at a “Mexican” restaurant because I’ve always been a fan of things called Mexicali Rose, and Thomas likes Con Queso (http://mexicali-rose.com). On the patio, we were seated close to a family of 10 Croats, or possibly Bulgarians. Half of them were blond, half looked like Gypsies. They all smoked (I swear, even the kids.) They refrained from wearing matching outfits like some of the American families we saw, and chest hair was abundant. They were like Italians vacationing in Italy, you know, the ones who go to the black sand beach near Naples, instead of heading to Santorini (because, according to them, the food is better and the people more polite). In the middle of Wisconsin, who know?
Nowhere were the foreign kids more palpable than at the carnival. After besting Thomas, an able competitor, at a round of miniature golf (on what I have to say was a disappointingly low-frills—read: no windmills, just difficult slopes and angles-- mini-golf course that also happened to be wet (http://www.piratescovewisdells.com), we went to the carnival so that I could cash in my prize, a ride of the Ferris Wheel. I have always wanted to ride a Ferris Wheel, and so this was my prize. Then we cleaned up at Skee-Ball, and wandered around the carnival. It was dreamy.
As an aside, we figured out that it would be possible to fund a relatively comfortable living in the Dells by buying liquor for teenagers. Also, while were buying beer at a 7-11, I saw a baby alligator/crocodile. But they had cheese curd, so I didn’t judge. We then went swimming with vacationing teens who were heavy petting in the pool, went down the indoor pool waterslide and sat out on our balcony chairs drinking mini Coronas while listening to the two 12 year old boys who were sitting in their plastic white chairs in front of the room next to ours describe things as “gay,” and then enter into a long conversation about the merits of men dressing as women. There weren’t many. Merits, that is.
The next day, we awoke to a surprising array of grey clouds. Sadly, we resigned ourselves to the fact that there would be no actual waterpark in our adventure to America’s Waterpark Capital. It felt weird, but it was the right thing to do, I guess. We went for lunch, watched some soccer, and decided to go on a Duck boat tour! Sweet! Duck boast are converted Army amphibious transport vehicles that, I swear to God, were used in the storming of Normandy on D-Day. Seriously. Some are painted camouflage, some are just army green. They all go fast and have punny early twenties drivers who tell bad jokes in order to get bigger tips. We got to go on the River, across Lake Delton and through some awesome woods. It was hysterical. It also gives one the opportunity to observe the habits and behaviors of local Wisconsinites, many of whom seem to go on the Ducks every time they come to the Dells. (http://www.wisconsinducktours.com/)
We also went to the public beach for a quick swim. Lake Delton is lovely, and surprisingly clean considering all the jet-skis and power boats that populate the lake. I would love to rent a cabin on the lake for a week, if that were possible top do so for cheap. Although to lose the charm of the motel would be seriously sad.
On the way home, we got stuck in horrible airport traffic, which sucked pretty hard. In order to not do that, one would have to leave way early, or way late from the dells. It’s kind of a fact of life that as soon as you drive near O’Hare, you’ll get stuck in some kind of traffic. Luckily, I fell asleep.
Lessons: Wisconsin has a lot of State troopers, so watch the speed limit, okay? Embrace your laziness: if you have gone to a place famous for waterslides, but don’t want to go on any actual waterslides, it’s okay. It’s completely okay. Are you kidding? It’s awesome. Finally, learn to drive a stick. It’s a life skill.
Actually, it was 36 hours, but who’s counting?
Destination: The Wisconsin Dells, The Waterpark Capital of the World!
Participants: AML and her unwitting and very sweet man, Thomas
Goal: To get the hell out of Dodge; watch mad soccer; go on waterslides.
In the Midwest, the car trip is crucial, as is the weekend getaway. You know how everyone from Minnesota has a cabin? Well, everyone else in the Midwest lives about 3 hours away from someplace that is less of a hot, urban wasteland than where they actually live. The summer in the Midwest can be particularly brutal for brooding, moody teens, rambunctious toddlers, and bored stay-at-home moms. The answer: a weekend getaway that is fun and affordable for the whole family. Sometimes this means owning a cabin, or having a timeshare on a cabin with your relatives or family friends. For others, this means the Dells.
A little history: The Dells started out as Kilbourn City, and were made famous by H.H. Bennett, a photographer and nature enthusiast who photographed the magnificent rock formations and scenery of the south-central Wisconsin in the 1860s and 70s. He is most well-known for his stop action photography, and his studio still operates in the Dells. The area grew as a tourism destination in the late 1800s. Though Native American tribes including the Winnebago, the Ho-Chunk, the Menominee and the Chippewa, played prominent roles in the history of the Dells early on, the white settlement and the growth of the logging industry in the area are what set the Dells on the map. Future president of the Confederacy Jefferson Davis explored in the area and in fact founded Fort Winnebago in nearby Portage, Wisconsin. In the 1940s, surplus Army Ducks, semi-amphibious transport vehicles used by the Army during WWII were brought to Lake Delton (the biggest lake in the area) for recreational use, and are still used today for tours and sightseeing along the river. In the 1950s, the Tommy Bartlett waterskiing show made the Dells a serious attraction, and his legacy lives on in the form of daily (and nightly) exhibitions of bizarre skill on the water-ski. And thus began the Dells’ marriage to water sports and recreation on the grandest of scales. (http://www.dells.com/dellshistory/)
Word to the wise: I love water slides, but I almost never go because it is so expensive. I went once as a teenager, with this woman I worked for, her younger half-sister and our boss’s daughter (both of whom were maybe 10). It was not something my family did when we were kids.
Getting there from Chicago is only about a 2.5 hour drive, and a relatively pretty one at that. We left early, armed with new flip flops, the top down (the lovely Thomas has a tiny convertible that I thought were only sold to gay men and people in midlife crises, but this is not the case—two of my Dad’s friends bought them during major life crises, both over 6’4”--in a Miata, this is truly priceless). We were intent on making it to the Dells in time to check into our room and watch the US-Italy soccer match , which we did. The roads were not congested, but be careful! Wisconsin has more state troopers than any other state I’ve driven through.
Our abode for the next day and a half was the Shamrock (http://www.shamrock-dells.com), truly a motel’s motel. Two stories in U shape, with a pool (complete with Irish-themed unicorn water slide) in the middle and a grassy green knoll on which sat not only picnic tables and a couple of motorcycles, but also several barbeques, apparently for public use. Cool! Each room had two plastic chairs outside the door as well. The rooms were comfortable and clean. But the most remarkable thing about the motel was the sense of community that was fostered by the huge families, all of whom were in the pool or sitting outside their rooms on their plastic chairs until late into the night. I also saw a pregnant woman in a bikini, a first for me.
Now, Thomas explained to me on our way to dinner that the Dells have a massive impermanent labor pool, that kids come from Poland and Eastern Europe to work in restaurants and in the parks over the summer. These kids were mostly college age waiters, but damn they were polite. But the late 80’s Iron Curtain feel was extended also to the tourists. We ate dinner the Saturday night at a “Mexican” restaurant because I’ve always been a fan of things called Mexicali Rose, and Thomas likes Con Queso (http://mexicali-rose.com). On the patio, we were seated close to a family of 10 Croats, or possibly Bulgarians. Half of them were blond, half looked like Gypsies. They all smoked (I swear, even the kids.) They refrained from wearing matching outfits like some of the American families we saw, and chest hair was abundant. They were like Italians vacationing in Italy, you know, the ones who go to the black sand beach near Naples, instead of heading to Santorini (because, according to them, the food is better and the people more polite). In the middle of Wisconsin, who know?
Nowhere were the foreign kids more palpable than at the carnival. After besting Thomas, an able competitor, at a round of miniature golf (on what I have to say was a disappointingly low-frills—read: no windmills, just difficult slopes and angles-- mini-golf course that also happened to be wet (http://www.piratescovewisdells.com), we went to the carnival so that I could cash in my prize, a ride of the Ferris Wheel. I have always wanted to ride a Ferris Wheel, and so this was my prize. Then we cleaned up at Skee-Ball, and wandered around the carnival. It was dreamy.
As an aside, we figured out that it would be possible to fund a relatively comfortable living in the Dells by buying liquor for teenagers. Also, while were buying beer at a 7-11, I saw a baby alligator/crocodile. But they had cheese curd, so I didn’t judge. We then went swimming with vacationing teens who were heavy petting in the pool, went down the indoor pool waterslide and sat out on our balcony chairs drinking mini Coronas while listening to the two 12 year old boys who were sitting in their plastic white chairs in front of the room next to ours describe things as “gay,” and then enter into a long conversation about the merits of men dressing as women. There weren’t many. Merits, that is.
The next day, we awoke to a surprising array of grey clouds. Sadly, we resigned ourselves to the fact that there would be no actual waterpark in our adventure to America’s Waterpark Capital. It felt weird, but it was the right thing to do, I guess. We went for lunch, watched some soccer, and decided to go on a Duck boat tour! Sweet! Duck boast are converted Army amphibious transport vehicles that, I swear to God, were used in the storming of Normandy on D-Day. Seriously. Some are painted camouflage, some are just army green. They all go fast and have punny early twenties drivers who tell bad jokes in order to get bigger tips. We got to go on the River, across Lake Delton and through some awesome woods. It was hysterical. It also gives one the opportunity to observe the habits and behaviors of local Wisconsinites, many of whom seem to go on the Ducks every time they come to the Dells. (http://www.wisconsinducktours.com/)
We also went to the public beach for a quick swim. Lake Delton is lovely, and surprisingly clean considering all the jet-skis and power boats that populate the lake. I would love to rent a cabin on the lake for a week, if that were possible top do so for cheap. Although to lose the charm of the motel would be seriously sad.
On the way home, we got stuck in horrible airport traffic, which sucked pretty hard. In order to not do that, one would have to leave way early, or way late from the dells. It’s kind of a fact of life that as soon as you drive near O’Hare, you’ll get stuck in some kind of traffic. Luckily, I fell asleep.
Lessons: Wisconsin has a lot of State troopers, so watch the speed limit, okay? Embrace your laziness: if you have gone to a place famous for waterslides, but don’t want to go on any actual waterslides, it’s okay. It’s completely okay. Are you kidding? It’s awesome. Finally, learn to drive a stick. It’s a life skill.
posted by Ann Marie at 2:59 PM
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