Friday, September 08, 2006

Short Theatrical Endeavor on the Nature of Romantic Love

A Play.

Two women, A and J, sit in a dark room in two chairs, side by side.The chairs are white and plastic and uncomfortable. there is arectangle of bright white light on the floor. The women's heads moveback and forth, back and forth. Occasionally there is applause. Both women are wearing white, cotton cable knit sweaters and white pleated skirts. J has a very thick, almost indecipherable accent of dubious origins.

A: I played tennis when i was a kid. I was actually really good. I was a prodigy, actually. But then I discovered reading. Actually, I couldread the whole time, but at a certain point, I decided I liked reading more than tennis.
J: Tennis is great exercise. We should play some time. You have a very athletic figure.
A: At this moment a man is taking a chair out of my apartment, even though I dislike him.
J: How strange. Should you call the police?
A: No.
J: How strange. This is an excellent match. I heard that yesterday Navratilova was knocked out. I can't believe she still plays!
A: She is old. You know, actually, she's gay.

A covers her head, as if afraid she will be hit in the face with a baseball, or a meteor. After a few second, she sits up and adjusts her sweater.

J: Yes. I think she's a fantastic advocate for lesbians of her generation. And I find her very sexy. A: Yes.
J: I would like to kiss her.
A: Who?
J: Martina Navratilova.
A: I like Billy Jean King. I have to go wash my hands.

A runs off stage. Slowly, she creeps back onstage. She has a magnifying glass. She used it to examine J. J does not notice, she instead watched the tennis, and eats a mango.

A: Are you French?
J: Yes. Sometimes.
A: My friend told me that all French intellectuals are gay. Are you intellectual?
J: Yes. Sometimes.

A does cartwheels around the stage. Her underpants are rainbow striped.

A: Will you have dinner with me?
J: I would love to, but we can only be friends. I am dating Billy Jean King.

Billy Jean King enters. Billy Jean King and J exit, together.

A: Why? Why, God? Why? What have I done to displease you?!

A stands at center court, falls to her knees, beats her breast.

Fin.

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