Tuesday, September 06, 2005

We all understand the major problems and frustrations with traveling by plane--long lines at security, delays, uncomfortable seats, expensive tickets, etc.

But what about the small ones?

I am one of those people who recognize that the major problems are out of my control. I may whine about them, but I don't get angry about them as there really is no way for the airlines to fix them.

Before I launch into my list of complaints, I would also like to state my theory of human nature. There are 2 types of people in the world (ah, thus begin so many useless platitudes), first there are those who are out of their plane seat and halfway up the aisle, luggage in hand, by the time the seat bell sign dings off. These people are not interested in waiting for the second type: those who don't see any reason to GET OFF! NOW!, and therefore are moving slowly. Sometimes they chat on cell phones while sitting in the seat blocking their aislemates. Sometimes they just wave everyone who was behind them up ahead and off.

I am, needless to say, one of the first type. On the way to my vacation destination last weekend I struck seat gold by getting seat 6D--2nd row after first class, on the aisle. Pure gold for me: as close to OFF as possible without sitting in the bulkhead. I was not as lucky on the return trip. 15A. Halfway back is ok, but when traveling alone window seats make me crazy. Furthermore, the 2 people blocking me in were members of type 2 and had no interest in hurrying off.

And now, finally, onto the list of things that really tick me off about air travel. In no particular order.

1) Arriving at gate B1 and learning that your connection leaves from F30.
(This is a problem even if there is a shuttle from terminal B to terminal F. Those shuttles are not reliable and usually are crowded, smelly, bumpy and slow. Usually it is faster to walk, provided you don't have to go through security again.)

2) Given that virtually everyone carries a roller suitcase, flooring is very important. Floor tiles that have dips in between them cause roller bags to make a distinctive "thump" noise every 2 feet or so. While parts of most airports have this type of flooring (see the bathrooms at ORD), Boston's Logan is, to my knowledge, the worst offender. An entire terminal is floored that way.

3) Coke is not the same as Pepsi. If I ask for a diet coke, and you only serve Pepsi, the correct next response is "We only have Pepsi, is that ok?" I can then say "In that case, I'll just have water" (while this is not limited to air travel, it is worse when flying. FWIW, United is a Pepsi airline, American is Coke)

4) Bathroom stalls should have doors that open out, and they should be large enough to accommodate a suitcase. People flying alone must bring their suitcases into the stall, or risk confiscation by airline personnel. Ergo... (Similarly, automatic fixtures should work correctly, not going on or off too early or too late. But this is not limited to airports.)

5) There should be more sinks in women's restrooms than stalls. Ideally there should be a whole separate bank of mirrors so that those who need to re-apply makeup post-flight have somewhere to do that without disrupting my basic hygiene.

6) There are not enough outlets for everyone. Please share. You are not the only person who desperately wants to charge his/her phone/laptop/ipod/etc.

I think that's it. Please feel free to add your own thoughts, but remember: "minor" complaints only.

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